Wednesday, August 31, 2011
I have been a stay at home mom for the past 4years. I have been there with him for ALL of his moments! Big or little they have all been imprinted on my heart. Even when I fuss/whine/moan/ groan! About his eating habits, toileting set backs and wake up times that seem to be more in line with the birds than humans. Each moment is a joy, maybe not right away, but it's really a true joy to be able to be there always for him (excluding date nights or mom's night/day's out!!) But now I face a challenging decision, do I go "back to work"? There are several great things about working outside the home(I have a list of at least 5 pros!) I hold nothing against "working mom's" in fact I applaud them. Just the thought of "going back" terrifies me(I have 7 con's)?!!? It really strikes my heart with fear and sadness. And I am struggling to reflect why? What is it that causes me to tear up each time I think of working outside the home? Thus far I haven't been able to put my finger on it, only to be able to finger the actual emotions I feel inside each time the topic comes up. Terror....Sadness...Stress...Overwhelming... Tentative.... Its not the first time I've been at a loss of what to do, yet its the first time as a mommy. I was hoping it would be a little more clearer as to which path I should take, which opening I should pass through, what decision I should make. All I know for certain is "I'm gonna miss this!"http://youtu.be/lBDN8yWyNYU At least this moment will be captured in time for me to look back at as a mom of a teenager when I want to sell him to the zoo! Or pay the circus to take him!
Posted by Unknown at 7:53 PM
Friday, August 26, 2011
Okay, I know that song has absolutely nothing to do with the thoughts I'm about to share with you but!!! It's the peppiest little tune and it has the phrase in it I used as my title so I figured I'd better throw my props out there:)
I'm sure you've noticed, by now, how "dreams" (future aspirations) have changed since you were about 5 years old/ understanding the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" What was your five year dreams? Did they differ from year to year? Who inspired those dreams? What inspired those dreams? How much different are your dreams now from then? For me... not so much... I mean sure, I had the occasional "I wanna be a ballerina" (I have two left feet, really, I do!), "I wanna be a princess/royal dignitary" (I'm thinking my story wouldn't have turned out as Cinderella with the "sassy sass" I dish out!), or the "I want to be a successful "business" woman" (now if I just liked sitting at a desk for extended periods of time....doh!) But through all those dreams I found one to ring true, when I grow up I want to be a mom! And guess what, I am!! Isn't that awesome? I am amazed every day I hear "Mommy!" and realize its me the small child is referring to I smile! (unless it's "mommy! mommy! mommy! mommy!" then it's more of a grimace but...who's counting?)
Now that the "Mom" dream is realized, I realize I have other dreams to chase! Here are a few of them...
- Leaving a legacy behind me that my family/loved ones can celebrate
- Knowing my child(ren) are believers of Jesus Christ
- Finishing my Bachelors degree (and possibly a Masters)
- Realizing my desire to create a welcoming daycare/preschool/re-source center for special abilities children and their families:)
- Being a Proverbs 31 woman (at least close to one:)
- Finishing my basement!!(and 2nd bathroom!)
- Creating healthy habits (working out, eating right, daily devotions....)
- Blogging regularly
- Being a good friend
- To have more babies!!(naturally or adopted:)
- Self control to resist chocolate!
So what are your dreams? Or future aspirations ? Have you spoken them aloud? Do you pray about them? do you dare to dream a little dream?
Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Phew! Time fly's when your having fun! And when your stressing out about stuff! Either way it just keeps tick, tick, ticking away!POOF! A month has past and I haven't blogged, what is with that? I guess I figured laundry, dishes, cleaning, meals... were a little more important:) Or was it that REALLY good book? Or it could have been me enjoying the fleeting day's of summer! Literally they are, fleeting away right before my very eyes! I had to wear jeans 'the other day' really?!? I'm not ready for summer to be over! But I am, because with the end of summer come's a new adventure! PRESCHOOL (home schooling)!! I don't mean just the age group I mean my small child is actually ready to do some school work! I am so excited to be able to see him work at something and then.... **light bulb** those moments are so precious as a teacher and I'm sure more so now that I'm a mom! Time to start digging out ALL those teacher made resources I've been hording, transporting and collecting over the years. As soon as I figure out how to post pictures on here I will add a few of the resources, easily made, can be used in your home to enhance even a regular day! keeps the TV off and the child engaged! oh happy day!